If..Else Log

Probably not even attributable to Rooney, but what the heck:

Andy Rooney on Prisoners
Did you know that it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Gee, for forty-thousand bucks apiece, I'll take a few prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on the windows. I don't think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don't want to run, they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator.

Andy Rooney on Phone-in-Polls
You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues? Did you ever notice there's always like 18% "I don't know". It costs 90 cents to call up and vote . . . They're voting "I don't know." "Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone. (Into phone) I DON'T KNOW! (hangs up, looking proud) Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you're not sure about." This guy probably calls up phone sex girls for $2.95. (into phone) "I'm not in the mood."

Rio Parody Ad
For UK footie fans only:-)

Oracle of Bacon

The object of the game is to start with any actor or actress who has been in a movie and connect them to Kevin Bacon in the smallest number of links possible. Two people are linked if they've been in a movie together….
Then we can count how many links were necessary and assign the actor or actress a Bacon number.

.Net Form Controls: A promising set of .NET controls including custom rendered menus/toolbars, docking, tabbed document management, Wizard Control and an Outlook sidebar. Not only that, but there is a free, royalty free licence available. I'm definitely going to be trying these controls out.

8th Grader Suspended for Using 'net send' Command

Without commenting too much or deeply on this story, I will say that

• The teacher/school come out of this looking pretty ignorant, petty and downright foolish.
• I'm guilty of having done the same thing that the kid did. Fortunately, smarter minds prevailed in my situation

From UtterlyBoring.com:

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, an official said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,", he said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, he said "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.

"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," he said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."

He warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."

He said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertain of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks…."

Isn't the internet great? Now I can make shadow puppets…

These 9 drawings were done by an artist under the influence of LSD — part of a test conducted by the US government during it's dalliance with psychotomimetic drugs in the late 1950's. The artist was given a dose of LSD 25 and free access to an activity box full of crayons and pencils. His subject is the medico that jabbed him.

Mario's tragedy (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)

…and Chocobo Remix
…not to mention this flash archive
…as well as a Reaction test
…and boardgame systems.

Jingle Hell
Why is it that you always remember the annoying adverts?

Trio, Triiiioo…
Zoom, Zoom, Zoom…
A finger of fudge is just enough…
Always cutting prices…

Arghhhhh!!!